Can I Go With You?
by EvilFireWitch
Summary: Hermione laments over the loss of her love... It even made ME cry! Songfic, to warn you, but I like it... Of course.:D


Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea of the story, which means I own the plot and pretty much nothing else. The song is My Immortal by Evanesence. And if I owned the characters, would I have bothered to write this? I'd be writing the real thing, and having a smashing time bringing our two love birds together! :)  
  
Author's Note: Hiya everyone! I'm back! I hope you like this one--it was inspired by My Immortal, by Evanesence. Lovely song, and so sad... Please review, and let me know what you think--I haven't written a fic in ages, so I'm a little rusty, and need all the help I can get!  
  
Can I Go With You?  
  
_I'm so tired of being here  
_  
Hermione looked out at the bay. Her hair whipped in the wind, robes billowed about her, and a single tear rolled down her cheek, only to be wiped away by the harsh sea breeze.  
  
_Suppressed by all of my childish fears  
_  
"I'm so afraid now. How can I live without you?" Hermione sobbed.  
  
"Why'd you leave me, Ron?" she whispered. A slit of sun on the horizon glinted off the sea, and in the distance a lonely gull cried out once, like a beacon.  
  
_And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave_  
  
"I can still feel you here, Ron, but you're ... gone." She pressed a hand to her stomach. "I ... we ... can't live without you."  
  
_Because your presence still lingers here  
__And it won't leave me alone_  
  
She imagined a hand wiping away her tears, caressing her, running long fingers through her thick hair. She shook her head, as if to shake off her memories.  
  
_These wounds won't seem to heal  
__This pain is just too real  
__There's just too much that time cannot erase_  
  
It had all been so sudden... The attack, and then a full-out war; Harry running off without a word to anyone, leaving his precious Ginny nothing but a tender and hasty peck on the cheek; Ginny running to Hermione, hysterical; Ron's pale face, terrified, then determined; and Ron's squared shoulders and deaf ears, walking out the door to change the course of history.  
  
_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
__When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
__And I've held your hand through all of these years_  
  
After their first year together, a small battle had broken out among the wizarding community. Few casualties, but even that had been too much for Ron's innocent eyes. For months, Hermione had woken to his screams, while he thrashed about in their bed, fighting some unseen enemy. He said nothing when she shook him awake, only stared at her with glassy eyes, cheeks wet with tears. He would turn his back to her silently, and lie there in the dark, stiff, until he thought she had fallen asleep. It was then that Hermione's heart broke a thousand times each night, hearing him weep as though all hope were lost. Sometimes, when it was especially bad, she would slip her hand into his larger one, pushing his hair, sticky with sweat, from his forehead. But he would always stop crying the moment he thought she could hear him.  
  
_But you still have all of me  
_  
"What a life we had, Ron. Even with the–" Hermione choked back a sob. "Even with the war, what a life we had together."  
  
Waves rippled on the small dock she stood on, and ocean spray splashed through the cracks to wet her boots.  
  
_You used to captivate me  
__By your resonating light  
__But now I'm bound by the life you left behind_  
  
"I miss you. I need you. I can't do this on my own." A harsh laugh escaped her lips, and she bowed her head. "You always wanted to hear me say that."  
  
_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
__Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_  
  
She reached a hand out to touch his invisible face. "I'm going mad, Ron. I really think I am. How can I go on without you?"  
  
"How can I go on without you?" she repeated, so quietly that she couldn't hear herself.  
  
_These wounds won't seem to heal  
__This pain is just to real  
__There's just too much that time cannot erase_  
  
She had clung to him, begged him not to go, but he'd looked right through her, not even recognizing her. He was already seeing another violent battle, with his best friend lying on the ground, filthy with curses and his own blood, dying. Ron turned away from her then, walking to his fate. From that moment, he was gone from her forever.  
  
_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
__When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
__And I've held your hand through all of these years  
_  
Hermione stared at the horizon, feeling like the sea before her–turbulent, and without the light of the sun. Her life was sluggish, wearisome, and she didn't know what to do with herself.  
  
_But you still have all of me_  
  
Every-day tasks seemed like too much. Even eating seemed like an insult to her love's memory.  
  
_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
_  
"You aren't here, Ron," she said quietly. Sea foam sprayed onto the dock, soaking the hem of her robes, but she didn't notice.  
  
"Dammit, Ron, you aren't here!" she screamed. "You left me! How could you do that? I love you, damn you, and you left, you didn't even look at me, you just left!"  
  
Sobs wracked her body, and she covered her face with her hands, head bowed, shoulders shaking.  
  
_And though you're still with me  
_  
"I can't let go, Ron," she said. "I know you'd want me to, but I can't let go."  
  
Hermione looked up at the sea, now dark with night. She passed a hand over her face, and stared out at the first star.  
  
_I've been alone all along  
_  
She sighed, deeply and soulfully, and wearily closed her eyes. She could feel him there, a kiss as light as a butterfly.  
  
But he was always just out of her reach.


End file.
